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It's never too late to start over. Forget others' discomfort.

  • Writer: carlotta reviglio
    carlotta reviglio
  • Apr 13
  • 2 min read

Sun 13th, April 2025

Ciao, Happy Sunday Evening!


This week's reflection is about the often underestimated power – and challenge – of starting over again.

I came across a neuroscience concept explaining why it's hard for us humans to challenge a belief we've held for a long time or to change our minds. We naturally want to be coherent, especially with ourselves. While often great, this desire can trap us.

1. Often, what seems to stop us from embracing change is the perceived pressure to publicly declare that we were wrong, that we've changed our minds, or that what was important before isn't anymore.In this case, what prevents us from change, serenity, and eventually (our own definition of) success is, most of the time, ourselves.

Change often brings a full set of storms, internally and externally. It can make us worry, feel wrong, feel defeated, and even physically unwell.The good news? The discomfort is temporary.But, we need energy to navigate through it.

2. We might fear publicly announcing our change isn't just our fear of being perceived as incoherent, but the exhausting prospect of facing others' resistance to our own life decisions.

It risks making people around us feel disturbed, uncomfortable, or even upset. And here comes the second hardest thing about navigating change: how it affects those around us (our "life-neighbours").

It might seem crazy, but sometimes our closest connections are unsettled by our own change. They might require us to invest extra energy just to help them accept our new selves, our new ideas. In some cases, they might just be afraid of losing connection with us.

And here is what helped me the most this week to navigate all of this: Just letting them deal with the change.

I'm not saying don't use energy for the people you believe need extra care – perhaps preparing them or supporting them with a simple 'I'll be there even if I'm different'. But I am encouraging you not to shoulder the burden of forcing their acceptance of the real, new you. You can't and should never try to control their thoughts.

This week I went through a big mindset shift and I was coincidentally gifted a book called Wild Courage, Jenny Wood. Which encouraged me to start over again, to change, to be the new weird me.It might be something you could enjoy as well.



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Thank you,

HerStoryCaffe


 
 
 

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